Fan Theory: Indiana Jones Caused World War II

I recently saw the Big Bang Theory episode where Amy Farrah Fowler watches Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time. She upset Sheldon and the gang when she points out that the Nazis would have found the Ark and opened it whether Indiana Jones was in the film or not.

I was curious if her theory was correct or if the Big Bang Theory writers just made it up for the show. So I decided to grab a tub of popcorn, sit on the couch and to do some ‘homework’ and verify whether she was correct on my own.

Paramount

What I discovered was, not only was Amy CORRECT that Indiana Jones had no impact on the Nazis’ quest for the Ark, but Indiana’s actions inadvertently caused World War II in Europe!

Fan Theory: Indiana Jones Caused World War II

Just for reference: Raiders of the Lost Ark takes place in 1936. Germany didn’t invade the Sudetenland (disputed border between Germany and Czechoslovakia) or Austria until 1938 and Poland (the “official” start of World War II) until 1939.

The Nazis Were Going To Find The Ark Anyway

The Nazis were only digging in the wrong location for the Ark because Toht (the creepy leather-clad Gestapo guy) only had one side of the medallion burned onto his hand. The reverse side of the medallion had additional instructions on where to excavate.

Paramount

However Toht would not have been branded and had the actual double-sided medallion if Indy hadn’t shown up at Marion’s bar in Tibet to begin with. So the Nazis would have been excavating in the proper location for the Ark and found it anyway (as Amy accurately pointed out on Big Bang Theory).

The Ark Would Have Been Opened In Berlin

The Nazis then planned on flying the ark, per Belloq, “directly to Berlin.” However Indy inadvertently blew up the plane after his impromptu boxing match with the bald headed grounds crewman, resulting in the Ark ending up on the truck.

Paramount

This resulted in the Germans being behind schedule and Hitler was not exactly known as a patient and understanding boss. Germans only succumbed to Belloq’s pressure to open the Ark on the island because they knew it would not bode well for their careers if the Ark was found to be empty in front of an already agitated Hitler.

So they opened the Ark before reaching Berlin and…well….this happened…

Hitler Would Have Melted Like Dairy Queen Sundae On A Hot July Afternoon

So if Indy hadn’t blown up the plane and the Ark had been flown directly to Berlin, it would have been opened in front of Hitler and presumably a number of his inner circle, such as Himmler, Goebbels, Bormann, Goring and/or Speer. This event would have resulted in Hitler and many of his senior staff spontaneously combusting or having their faces melted.

credit: makeagif.com

Meet The New Boss…

The deaths of Hitler and so many of his closest BFF’s would have resulted in a high ranking military officer who was not one of Hitler’s immediate inner circle picking up the Fuhrer baton. Probably Admiral Erich Raeder, Chief of General Staff Franz Halder or Commander in Chief (Oberbefehlshaber) Walther Heinrich Alfred Hermann von Brauchitsch.

I really hope this dude’s 1st grade teacher didn’t make hime sign his entire name on all his homework…Triple Word Score!

All three of these men were extremely loyal to Germany, but not necessarily devoutly loyal to Hitler or his delusions of grandeur. Halder was even later relieved of his command by Hitler during the failed Operation Barbarossa for putting the well being of his men ahead of Hitler’s overzealous ambitions.

It is very possible that either of these officers still may have invaded the Sudetenland or possibly even Austria (since Germany felt the people in those areas were actually ‘German’), but either of them probably would have simply sued the Allies for peace from there.

This means the Nazi invasions of Poland, France, Holland, Belgium, North Africa, the USSR and so many other nations never would have happened.

credit: makeagif.com

Millions Of Lives Spared?

Between all those invasions, the loss of military personal on both sides, the civilians of those areas, the German civilians that died in the Allies’ carpet bombings and all the Nazi extermination camps in those regions…that is literally millions of lives that may not have been lost!

WOW….That got dark pretty quick…Lets get back on track.

While none of Indiana Jones’ actions would have had an immediate impact on the build up to war in the Pacific theater, Europe would have been far better off if Indy had simply stayed home and not taken that trip to Marion’s bar in the Himalayas.

What do you think? Did Indiana Jones inadvertently cause World War II in Europe? Did his well meaning actions result in the inadvertent deaths of millions across Europe?

I also just saw the preview for the new Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Doesn’t look like Lucasfilm used any of my suggestions for the sequel, although I did think Indiana Jones and Quest for the Missing Reading Glasses could have worked…

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