Just as ‘April showers bring May flowers,’ December snow flakes bring the showering of Christmas movies!
And while the vast majority of these movies will involve the same type-casted faces and fake snow flakes falling in small country towns where stranded young attractive suburbanites are falling in love with small town folk or handsome strong-jawed princes from made-up European countries (that all speak British accented English) falling in love with young attractive hotel maids or entry level ad agency employees, there are still a couple Christmas films that are strong enough for a man, yet made for…well…men!
I previously made a list of The Top Ten Christmas Movies For Guys, but I don’t think I am spoiling anything when I say that #1 on that list is the original Die Hard!
I have previously written post about this Bruce Willis Christmas Classic, such as explaining the confusing plot hole about how John McClane knew Hans Gruber wasn’t Bill Clay, The List of Toughest Johns In Movie History and Die Hard, Predator, Alien and Commando: The Original Shared Cinematic Universe, but this is my first actual “Die Hard Fan Theory.“
Side Note: It always amazes me that Die Hard was Alan Rickman’s feature film debut. He had only done theater and a minor roles in BBC TV shows prior to portraying the greatest Christmas villain this side of the Grinch.
Fan Theory: Hans Gruber Always Planned On Killing At Least Some Of His Men!
A: All His Men Weren’t Going To Fit In The Ambulance
This was the first clue that led me to this fan theory.
Including himself, Gruber’s crew was made up of 13 men.
So if we assume Theo (whom we saw change into an EMT outfit when he was unloading the ambulance from the courier truck) and Eddie (the Huey Lewis looking dude) are riding driver and shot gun respectively, that means that Hans (who would be to recognizable to sit up front) would need to squeeze into the back of the ambulance with 10 other full grown men.
Along with the multiple large duffle bags full of $640 million in bearer bonds, they would also want to take along a considerable amount of weapons and gear in case they were stopped by police and needed to shoot their way out.
So this means the back of the ambulance, a short body G-Series GMC van, would need to be crammed with 11 fully grown men, enough duffle bags to hold $640 million in bearer bonds and their weapons and kit. All of that simply wasn’t going to fit…unless there was never going to be 11 men in the back of the van.
B: Blowing Up Some Of His Men Would Confuse The FBI And Ease His Escape
Hans said: “When they touch down, we’ll blow the roof, they’ll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we’ll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.” (Which is one hell of an ROI by the way)
That “We” probably didn’t refer to his entire crew. Since the FBI and LAPD didn’t know how many bad guys were in the crew, they wouldn’t know if the recovered bodies included all the crew or just some of the crew.
So as forensics sorted out the bodies from the rubble, Hans would want there to be some weapons and non-hostage bodies to make the FBI believe (or at least want to believe) his entire crew was killed.
For fear of embarrassment in the media, the FBI wouldn’t want to admit to losing Gruber, so it is logical that Gruber would assume that, as long as some non-Nakatomi employed bodies were recovered in the rubble, the FBI would be quick to close the case.
As cold blooded and calculating as Gruber was, sacrificing some of his men to ensure his escape (and a larger cut of the loot for himself) makes sense.
C: Gruber Was Quick To Blow The Roof With Uli Still On It
When Hans saw the hostages running down the stairs, he immediately yelled for Eddie to blow the roof, knowing Uli (possibly the most “bad guy” type-casted dude from the late 80s) was still on the roof.
When Eddie responded back that “Uli is still up there!” Hans immediately hit the detonator blowing the roof. Obviously he needed as many bodies in the rubble as possible for his plan to be successful, but was it also because he wanted to make sure at least one “bad guy” was among the rubble?
Eddie was obviously not in on this part of the plan, but that makes sense too. Hans would have kept the part of the plan involving killing his own men close to the vest to make sure none of his men tipped off those they weren’t meant to make it out alive.
There is one possible hiccup with This Fan Theory: The Courier Truck.
MovieMistakes.com caught that, when Gruber’s crew arrived at Nakotomi Plaza at the beginning of the movie, there was no ambulance in the back of the truck. The ambulance miraculously appears later in the film.
To be clear, this was confirmed to be a continuity mistake in an Esquire interview with Die Hard co-writer Steven De Souza.
But for the sake of argument, lets say the crew had left a second Pacific Courier truck (with the ambulance inside of it) in the parking garage the day before the heist as a plan B getaway vehicle only if police were called.
Even if Gruber’s plan A was to take the empty Pacific Courier truck they arrived in at the beginning of the movie (which had plenty of room for the 13 men, bearer bond stuffed duffle bags and kit), Hans still may have wanted some non-Nakatomi employee dead bodies among the rubble. Remember, he knew he would be hunted down by the FBI unless the FBI thought he was dead.
What do you think? Did Hans Gruber Always Plan To Sacrifice Some Of His Own Men?
Let me know in the comments below!
Also please check out some of my other Fan Theories!
- Luthen On Andor Is A Jedi That Turned Dark
- Die Hard, Alien, Predator and Commando Were The Original Cinematic Shared Universe
- The Ewoks Ate The Stormtroopers On Endor
- Home Alone’s Peter McCallister Was A Mob Boss
- Nick Fury Suspected Captain America Was A Skrull
- Modern Family Is A Sequel To Married With Children Taking Place In Al Bundy’s Mind
I always assume that the bad guys plan to kill some of their men (or that they expect most of them will happen to get killed along the way). If I were a bad guy, I probably wouldn’t want to work for other bad guys.
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That is a good point. There is no “I” in “Team Bad Guy”….but if re-arrange the letters a bit, there is a “Me”