Latest He-Man Movie News & Our Dream Masters Of The Universe Casting Call

The internet nearly broke last week when Sony Pictures and Mattel announced they have tapped brothers Aaron & Adam Nee to direct their much anticipated He-Man and the Masters of the Universe movie.

He-man director Nee Brothers

If your initial response to the Eternia shattering news was “Who?“, don’t feel bad. You are not alone.

The brothers are best known directing the 2015 movie, “Band of Robbers“, which received positive critical reviews, but this will be their first big budget project. That makes them a fairly risky choice for a project that Sony has so much riding on.

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The film is still being written by Dark Knight trilogy, Man of Steel & Justice League writer David S. Goyer. Goyer had previously been rumored to be directing He-Man as well, but has since said he will not due to his busy schedule (which includes the Terminator Reboot and Green Lantern Corp project). He is also being credited as executive producer.

David-Goyer
“I’m Batman.”

Sony Pictures has extremely high hopes for the Masters of the Universe property after having a very successful 2017 thanks to films such as Spiderman: Homecoming and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. 

spider-man
Wonder what he’s listening to…

Fortunately for Sony, Dolph Lundgren’s 1987 Masters of the Universe film set the He-Man Movie bar low. Like very, very low. (Think Snake $#!T low)

masters of the universe
This did for Masters of the Universe what the Last Jedi did to Star Wars.

All the ‘behind the camera’ stuff is interesting, but how about the on screen talent? He-Man is an iconic 80’s character who will require a gigantic physical presence with just enough 80’s campiness mixed in. He needs to be fun and exciting yet have enough comedic presence to not be taken too seriously.

So who could possibly fill this Filmation loin cloth?

Here is Geeky Daddy’ Dream Cast for the new Masters Of The Universe Movie:

(Remember, this is our “Dream Cast” which is basically our version of a cinematic mock draft. We are not taking into account things like payroll concerns or actor’s schedule or even desire to accept the part.)

He-Man / Prince Adam

he-man prince adam

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Chris Hemsworth

Chris Hemsworth Thor

The two most distinguishing physical traits of He-Man are obviously the build and the hair (probably in that order) and Hemsworth has got them both. His recent performance in Thor: Ragnarok also showcased his comedic timing, should the Nee Brothers decide to take He-Man in a more light hearted direction.

Other Possibilities:

Fellow Marvel Universe front man Chris Pratt

chris pratt

WWE’s John Cena

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WWE’s Dolph Ziggler (Come on. His name is ‘Dolph’ after all)

Dolph Ziggler

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson: (I actually don’t like this choice but I think he has a contract that gives him first right of refusal for any project that comes out of Hollywood)

dwayne-johnson-jokes-about-baywatch-movie-bad-reviews

Nicki Minaj (because nobody has pulled off the ‘Prince Adam’ look better)

Nicki Minaj Prince Adam

Man At Arms

ManAtArms

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Liam Neeson

liam neeson

Man At Arms had a particular set of skillz, a matter of fact delivery style and was handy with firearms. Who could possibly be a better choice than Bryan Mills

Other Possibilities:

Tom Selleck (just because of the ‘stache. Nothing more.)

Bruce Campbell (and his boom stick!)

bruce campbell 1

David Caruso (Although the best part about his role on CSI: Miami are the drinking games requiring a shot every time he takes his shades off. Maybe that could be replaced with Man At Arms laughing?)

Daniel Craig

He can rock the ‘stache as well! (which is a phrase I never thought I would say in my entire life)

daniel craig mustache

Sean Bean is also a possibility but nobody wants to see Man At Arms die. So never mind.

sean bean

The Sorceress

sorceress

The Sorceress was basically Jedi Council of Eternia. A tremendously powerful force who would send others on dangerous missions but would hang back safe and sound in the castle and do….I have no idea what. Quilting maybe? Bird cosplay perhaps?

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Carrie Anne Moss

Carrie-Anne_Moss

Best known as Trinity from the Matrix trilogy, Moss possesses the pretty face and soothing voice that are going to be the most important characteristics for our sorceress (as well as a love for feathers).

Other Possibilities:

Glenn Close: She has the voice and the sweet grandmotherly charm you’d expect from a Sorceress. Maybe she bakes cookies all day in the Castle Greyskull kitchen?

23rd Annual Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala - Arrivals

Keri Russell: You know how I mentioned a pretty face? Well anyone who has done a Cover Girl commercial you know has terrific skin.

Keri Russell

Teela

teela

Teela is the tough minded head of Eternia’s Royal Guard, bodyguard for bumbling Prince Adam and always carried a certain amount of sexual tension with Adam’s alter-ego He-Man. Think Xena meets Wonder Woman meets the wardrobe designer for Madonna in the 1980’s. Also, she is Man At Arms daughter, so if Liam Neeson does get the role, nobody better get any funny ideas about her.

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Daisy Ridley

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Ridley is tough, beautiful and looks very convincing wielding weapons on screen.

Other Possibilities:

Jaime Alexander: She has the bad-@$$ look and can rock some serious armor!

lady-sif

Mila Kunis: I think she is gorgeous and actually just really want to see her in skimpy armor.

mila kunis

Orko

Orko

He-man’s magician/buddy/comic relief Orko would obviously be CG, meaning the Orko casting would be voice only (ala Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy).

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Patton Oswalt

ENTERTAINMENT-US-CINEMA-BABY DRIVER

Oswalt seems to be working non-stop since the death of his wife in 2016 so I am not sure how much more room there is on his plate. Fortunately, like I pointed out earlier, that does not play into our little Masters of the Universe mock draft.

Skeletor

skeletot

The master villain with the maniacal laugh would need to be mostly special effects make-up, so the voice would be the main attribute to consider here as well.

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Tom Ellis

Lucifer

In Lucifer, Tom Ellis has shown his ability to play a not always good guy character that you actually care about, laugh at, and feel sorry for…sometimes all in the same episode. He can also pull off the laugh!

skeletor gif

Side note: Anybody not already watching Tom Ellis as Lucifer on Fox really should check it out. The show does stand out in the over saturated television market thanks to Ellis’ portrayal of the fallen angel, a creative cast of characters and some very intelligent script writing.

Other Possibilities:

Willem Dafoe: Mostly because no budget eating costly make-up would be required.

willem-dafoe-motherless-brooklyn

Walton Goggins: I’m a huge fan of his acting and his teeth. Those suckers are perfectly straight and pearly white! Especially when they are preceded by Willem DaFoe’s chompers.

walton goggins

Mathew McConaughey: His career has had a bit of a renaissance (McCon-aissance?) since he started doing the Lincoln commercials

McConaughy

Evil Lynn

(Hey, I don’t name these characters, I’m just trying to cast them.)

Evil_Lyn_Cartoon

She is hot, evil, kinda whiney and bat-$#!T crazy.

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Megan Fox

megan fox

Like I said. “She is hot, evil, kinda whiney and bat-$#!T crazy.” Does that describe anyone better than Megan Fox?

Other Possibilities:

Olivia Wilde: I liked her in Tron: Legacy but I think I am the only one who saw that movie.

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Margot Robbie: Any doubts about her ability to play crazy were laid to rest with her performance of Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad.

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Olivia Munn: I’ve been a fan of her since her days on Attack of the Show on G4TV and she needs a chance to redeem herself since that Psylocke debacle

Olivia_Munn

Beastman

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Much like Orko, Beastman would be CG or some type of special effects make-up, so we are looking for voice over talent.

Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Vin “I Am Groot” Diesel

vin-diesel-header
“Have you driven a Dodge lately?”

Other possibility:

Jason Statham: Fellow Fast & Furious member Statham also has a distinctive voice is not as gravelly as Diesel’s (Vin Lite or Diet Diesel).

Jason-Statham-in-Killer-E-007
“I don’t always play the same character. Actually, I do”

Dennis Haysbert: Despite a long movie and television career, he is better known as “the All State guy” (Although I only see Cerano from Major League cussing out Jobu).

Dennis-Haysbert1
“You’re in good hands.”

What do you think of our casting choices?

Who would you like to see wield the power of Greyskull?

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New He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe Movie Gets Release Date…Just Not Officially yet

A mysterious Tweet came out yesterday that Sony has yet to confirm.

Sony s New Masters Of The Universe Movie Gets A Release Date Kind Of Bleeding Cool Comic Book Movie TV News

If you are a He-Man fan like me, a new Masters of the Universe movie can’t come soon enough!

Partially because we are fans of the original toy line and cartoon, but mostly so we can forget 1987’s Dolph Lundgren craptastrophy of a film ever happened.

For those who don’t remember or wish to torture yourselves…

There has been talk of a remake for quite sometime and film maker McG (not sure if that is really on his driver’s license or not) still has the rights to the project.  He is mostly known for directing the Charlie’s Angels movies and Terminator Salvation, as well as some recent TV projects including Lethal Weapon.

Recently, he did hire comic book and Thor writer Christopher Yost to pen a new script.  This is a good move based on his work on Thor’s world of Asgard, which could easily parallel the world of Eternia.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was also rumored to be attached to this project at one time, but then again, what movie projects over the past 5 years has he not been attached to?

I will update this once Sony confirms or denies the release date.

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Geeky Daddy’s Top 5 Cult Classic Star Wars Rip-Offs From The 1980’s That Weren’t That Good, But We Watch Them Anyway

Shortly after the success of Star Wars, many movies tried to copy the space opera format.  Suddenly there was a demand for space adventures that also contained elements of fantasy such as wizards, swords and princesses.

Here is my list of the top 5 cult classic Star Wars rip-offs from the 1980’s that weren’t that good, but we watch them anyway.

5. Ice Pirates (1984)

ice pirates

In the distant space of the future, ice has become a rare commodity. Robert Ulrich (at his Han Solo-est) leads a band of pirates whose bounty of choice is…you guessed it: ICE!

This purposefully campy movie did have some successful comedic scenes, castration machines, kung fu robots and Space Herpes. The Ulrich led cast, including Michael D. Roberts and Ron Perlman, also had that drunken fraternity house feel that you couldn’t help but root for.

Favorite quote from the movie: “Pretend it happened…or it will happen”

4.  Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

Amazon.com Battle Beyond the Stars Richard Thomas Robert Vaughn George Peppard New Horizons

This was borderline making the list.  Not because it doesn’t rip off Star Wars (oh, it does!) but because the ship models are more of a Battlestar Galactica rip off than Star Wars Rip off.

Except for the main ship which looks to have either Peter Griffith’s chin,  a pair of size “D” boobs or a set of scrotum on the front.  Just weird.

Basically A young farm boy sets out to recruit mercenaries to help defend his peaceful planet from a tyrant.  If you think it sounds a little like Star Wars (which sounds a little like Seven Samurai) that is because it does.  But it is also a rare chance to see George Peppard and Robert Vaughn together prior to A-Team jumping the shark in season 5.

Side Note: I was shocked to learn there is a 30th Anniversary Blu Ray Edition of Battle Beyond The Stars available!?!

3. Krull (1983)

krull

A prince, who can wield a mysterious weapon, enlists an old wizard and a group of rogues to accompany him on a quest to an evil castle to rescue his bride from alien invaders.

The alien troops bore a startling resemblance to Imperial stormtroopers in appearance and marksmanship level. Also the evil castle is how I envision Skeletor’s Snake Mountain would have looked in Masters of the Universe movie… if Snake Mountain had actually been in Masters of the Universe and Masters of the Universe didn’t SUCK like it did.

Side Note: In this film, Liam Neeson had more of an unparticular set of skillz..

liam
“I have an unparticular set of skills…”

2. The Last Starfighter (1984)

last star fighter

The Last Starfighter was a video game that actually turned out to be a test simulator used to find and recruit the best starfighter pilots in the galaxy!  How awesome is that!

Well it was awesome for Alex Rogan who beat the arcade game with his entire trailer park cheering him on!  (I wonder how often an entire trailer park cheers on an underachieving teenager playing an arcade game? But, hey, it is science fiction.)

He is soon picked up by a creepy guy with a flying car and flown to outer space. There he must choose between piloting the last remaining Gunstar against an evil tyrant with a vast army (and an awesome scepter)…or go back to the trailer park.

Side Note: Did I mention he has a weapon called “DEATH BLOSSOM”

1. Flash Gordon (1980)

flash gordon

George Lucas said that the old Flash Gordon serials were one of his inspirations for Star Wars.  So, technically, I am not sure that this counts as a “rip-off” since Flash Gordon existed first but this is my list with my rules!

This is the story of New York Jets quarterback Flash, New York reporter Dale Arden and mad scientist Dr. Hans Zarkov who team up with a kick-butt Queen soundtrack to stop the evil tyrant Ming the Merciless from destroying Earth.

Along the way they team up with Prince Barin (future 007 agent Timothy Dalton) and Hawkmen leader Prince Vultan (played by a dude with the awesome last name is actually of “Blessed”).

Some of the actors in this film went on to bigger things.  Timothy Dalton briefly became James Bond when Pierce Brosnan was unable to get out of his Remington Steele contract and Max von Sydow was later scene in Star Wars: The Force Awakens as Lor San Tekka.  How come we never saw Sam Jones in anything of note again until he played himself in 2012’s “Ted”?  Heck even Melody Anderson had a recurring role on Jake and the Fatman.

By the way, if you watched the trailer and you are not singing “Flash!  Ahhhh!” in your head right now, you are either not human or a liar.

Side Note: Good thing this happened in 1980 when Flash was the Jets QB and not last year.  I can’t imagine Geno Smith or Ryan Fitzpatrick tackling Ming!

geno

Honorable Mention: Masters of the Universe (1987)

masters

But I think I spent enough time on this embarrassment to Dolph Lundgren’s career with my previous article Just How Awful Was The 1987 Masters Of The Universe Movie?

What did you think of my list?

What movies do you think I missed?

Please comment below with your suggestions.

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Just How Awful Was The 1987 Masters Of The Universe Movie?

How bad was the 1987 Dolph Lundgren He-Man attempt?

In short…very, very bad.

Not only bad enough to kill any shot Dolph Lundgren had at becoming a leading A-list star, but (combined with Superman IV: The Quest For Peace) bad enough to bankrupt Cannon Films.

I remember my older brother and I pleading with our parents to take us to see this movie in theaters.  And I remember the look my father threw me as the movie ended: it was a combination of embarrassment and disappointment in me for selling him on the movie.

The film had potential.  The He-Man Filmation cartoon was at its peak.  The toy lines were flying off the shelves at Toys ‘R’ Us. Dolph was fresh off his popular performance as everybody’s least favorite communist boxer in Rocky IV. They even got 80’s staple James Tolkan!

tolkan
“Eat my ‘tones’ Slackers!”

So why was it so awful?

The film lacked any kind of identity whatsoever.  Were the producers going for “campy”?  Were they intentionally combining the worst elements of Star Wars with Conan and a little Thor mixed in?

The majority of the movie took place on planet Earth as opposed to He-Man’s home world of Eternia even though the original script called for much of the story to take place on Eternia and Snake Mountain in particular. The film had a $22 million budget, which was huge for a mid 80’s sci-fi movie.  It obviously didn’t go to set design or exotic location shoots.  So it must have gone to costume and special effects right?

Well it didn’t go towards Skeletor’s bad Halloween version of Emperor Palpatine. Talented actor Frank Langella did what he could with the dialogue but why turn Skeletor into the demon love child of Palpatine and the Crypt Keeper?

While on the topics of “stiffs” (get it? Crypt Keeper & death?), what was the deal with Dolph’s uninspired performance?  They could have filmed his portion utilizing stop-motion animation with an actual He-Man action figure and it would have shown more emotion. Director Gary Goddard had concerns about Dolph’s acting abilities from the beginning, but Dolph came packaged with the movie.  “I was concerned that Dolph would be able to carry the scenes. …[so] I did my best to restructure the story almost through the eyes of Skeletor.”

There are lots of stories about the production difficulties on this film.

Mattel gave strict orders to the production staff on what He-Man could not do, such as kill or inflict harm on any living creature.  This resulted in the generic Stormtrooper like villains that he was forced to do battle with. Rumor has it that Mattel later changed this rule after toy sales saw a decline during movie production.

Mattel executive Paul Cleveland saw rough cuts of the film and just about had a heart attack” when he heard Dolph speak.   “I said it’s okay if He-Man has a little bit of an accent, but you gotta be able to understand him.”  Director Goddard wanted to bring in a voice actor to dub over Dolph’s voice, but “But [producer] Menaham [Golan] was like, ‘nope, we’re gonna stick with Dolph.’”

(It should be noted that Mattel had so much control over production because they funded the whole movie.  Initially, Mattel and Cannon we going to split the cost of the film 50/50.  Mattel funded the first half and then when it came time for Cannon to write checks, they were already broke.)

Ever wonder why the final battle between He-Man and Skeletor was so anti-climatic?  Almost as if the duel was un-choreographed and simply shot in front of  bright spotlight? Well that is because it was.  Mattel was so frustrated that they shut down production and let the director finish with only a limited staff.

he-man concerned about Dolph_ 9 harrowing behind the scenes stories from ‘Masters of the Universe_

The musical score was recorded with numerous orchestras with numerous conductors.  The score was composed by Bill Conti but Conti did not conduct his score because it could not be recorded in the United States as “there was a musicians strike or something like that… So it went to various places.”

And if you thought all this was bad, the only thing that could have been worse was a sequel!  The rumors of the plots for the sequel were ridiculous.  Per Wikipedia:

The sequel titled “Masters of the Universe 2: Cyborg” was written and followed He-Man as he returned to Earth to battle Skeletor, who had left Earth as a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The film was also to feature Trap Jaw and She-Ra. Pro surfer Laird Hamilton was originally planned to replace Dolph Lundgren as He-Man and the only aspect known about the sequel’s screenplay was that He-Man would have returned to Earth disguised as a professional quarterback.[23] With a low budget of $4.5 million, the sequel was to be directed by Albert Pyun, consecutively with the aborted Spider-Man movie. The project was abandoned when Cannon would not pay Mattel‘s fees.

The idea of a He-Man reboot has been kicked around Hollywood for some time now.  Most recently producer/director McG has the rights and numerous stars such as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson attached. Hopefully “Franchise Viagra” can make something happen…

Watch Dwayne Johnson s Franchise Viagra Monologue From Saturday Night Live NBC.com

Sidenote:  Ever wanted to be He-Man? My wife and I went as He-Man and She-Ra for Halloween a few years ago. We came second in the costume contest, losing out to a sexy police officer.

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not my real biceps…
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