GEEKY DADDY’S TOP REJECTED PLOT IDEAS FOR INDIANA JONES 5

Here is what we legit know so far about the fifth Indiana Jones installment:

Indiana Jones 5 is currently filming with Harrison Ford returning as everybody’s favorite mild-mannered archeologist/adventurer/Nazi puncher: (Indiana) Henry Jones, Jr.

Always awesome seeing a Nazi getting punched in the face.

Not returning, however, is the director of the previous 4 installments: Steven Spielberg (which, after seeing Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, may not be a bad thing).

Indy 5 will instead be directed by Logan director James Mangold (which should be a good thing).

Mangold is a terrific choice seeing as how this is, in all likelihood, Ford’s last go-around as the aged adventurer and probably looking to pass the metaphorical torch (AKA whip, weathered leather jacket and Fedora) to the next generation…again (sorry Shia Labeouf).

“Like looking in a mirror” said Ford (while actually looking in a mirror. Not at this costume available at Walmart.com)

Unfortunately, also returning behind the scenes will be the harbinger of the Star Wars cinematic death: Lucasfilm producer Kathleen Kennedy. So don’t expect too much franchise cohesiveness…

Anyway, the actual story for Indy 5 sounds like it will probably be taking place in the 1960’s or 1970’s, which given Ford’s age, makes sense. But what will the 79-year-old adventurer be searching for this time?

Here are Geeky Daddy’s Top Rejected (assumably) Story Ideas for Indiana Jones 5:

INDIANA JONES AND THE SEARCH FOR MORE METAMUCIL

The global supply chain pandemic $#!Tshow is the real villain here as Indy battles his greatest foe: Regularity.

This episode features a re-enactment of the classic ‘dragged under the nazi truck’ scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark, only this time using shopping carts in the medicine aisle of a CVS drug store in south Florida.

And this is all before the cashier refuses his Medicaid discount!

INDIANA JONES AND THE QUEST FOR THE MISSING READING GLASSES

Similar to how Kennedy lost her sense of direction mid way through the Star Wars sequel trilogy (yeah, I’m still bitter), in a more slap-stick route for the Indy franchise, Indy finds his way into various hidden temples, but can’t remember what he came there looking for in the first place.

He eventually wakes up to find the entire misadventure was a dream that took place while he fell asleep in his favorite recliner while watching a PGA Senior golf tournament.

INDIANA JONES AND THE RACE TO GET HOME BEFORE DARK

After utilizing his AARP membership discount on his 4PM dinner with Marion at the Old Country Buffet, Indy is forced to battle his way through a gauntlet of glare from those dastardly modern LED car headlights on his race home before the end of twilight.

Can Indy out pace the sunset? Maybe he can team-up with Hunter Ellis and his ‘Tactical BattleVision Glasses

INDIANA JONES AND THE HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATION OF DOOM

This time around, Indy wants to erect a privacy fence around his detached condo but must first battle wits with the power-hungry, over-reaching board members of the local home owners association and their pesky deed restrictions.

Follow Thy Commandments…(image credit: corporatornews.com)

Can Indy defeat the HOA’s Ten Commandments? And you thought the Nazis were tough!

What are some of your plot ideas for Indiana Jones 5? Let me know in the comments below!

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