Top Ten Best Voices For Your Inner Monologue Or To Narrate Your Life Choices!

You know that voice you hear inside your head that advises you on good and bad decisions through your life?

Mine usually sounds like Morgan Freeman, unless I have been drinking.

Then it sounds more like Samuel L. Jackson…

Here are Geeky Daddy’s Top Ten Best Voices For Your Inner Monologue or To Narrate Your Life!

10 Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart (Jean-Luc Picard and Prof. Xavier) has the deep, classically trained theatre voice that exudes confidence in any situation.

He can also sound cooler than anyone on the planet when it comes to pronouncing “Salt and Pepper.”

9 Buck Laughlin from Best In Show

I initially had Joe Buck and Troy Aikman or Tony Romo in this slot, but I seriously can’t watch any Buck Laughlin (Fred Willard) clip from Best in Show without laughing out loud.

Joe Buck’s voice always sounds so bored. Like he has someplace else to be and the game he is calling is preventing him from getting there on time.

Related Post: Joe Buck And Troy Aikman Caught On Hot Mic Mocking NFL Military Pregame Flyover

8 Steve McCroskey from Airplane!

If I’m ever in an aircraft disaster, there is only one man I want in command of the control tower and that is Steve McCroskey (Airplane! and Airplane II)!

Whenever I do complete my autobiography, I’ll probably title it “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue: The Geeky Daddy Story.”

I am also thinking about adopting the pen name Don Diablo for the sole purpose of one day writing my own unauthorized biography.

7 Tony Stark

You know how sometimes you think of that witty comeback or sarcastic comment like 5 minutes too late and are like “Man, I wish I thought of that 5 minutes ago!”

Well Tony Stark never has that problem because he always has the perfect witty comeback or sarcastic remark immediately at his disposal and is not afraid to use it!

6 Lt. Frank Drebin from Naked Gun/Police Squad

Leslie Nielson was the master of deadpan humor, whether as Lt. Frank Drebin from Naked Gun/Police Squad or as Dr. Rumack from Airplane!

I’m choosing Lt. Frank Drebin for this list over Dr. Rumack because of the film noir monologue he hilariously pulled off throughout the Naked Gun movies.

But I will live out the rest of my days responding with “And don’t call me Shirley.” every time somebody says “Surely” to me.

Related Post: Top 5 80’s Movie Villains That Were Actually Right!

5 William Shatner

As the universally recognized all-time ‘King of Over Acting,’ who better than to make any monotonous daily task a matter of edge-of-the-seat drama than The Shat!

Although, if we were to focus solely on my time in college, the monologue would exclusively consist of Leonard Nimoy saying “That is illogical” after nearly every damn thing I did. Which was a lot!

4 James Earl Jones

James Earl Jones voiced many iconic characters over his career. Darth Vader. Mufasa. King Jaffe Joffer. The “This is CNN” voiceover…

His deep voice carries a gravitas unlike any other, making you think that any everyday routine decision you make could have world-shattering butterfly effects. Choose wisely!

3 Clint Eastwood

I had John Wayne on this list at one point but decided that he and Clint Eastwood kinda filled the same role. The rugged “I don’t care about your feelings” manly cowboy way of walking through life.

What really veered me towards Eastwood over Wayne was, as I have gotten older, I identify more with the Walt Kowalski (Gran Torino) “Get off my lawn!” persona.

2 Samuel L. Jackson

If Two-Face’s coin (both sides of the misprinted coin are heads but one side is scarred while the other is mint) could be applied to this list : Samuel L Jackson would be the darkly weathered and scarred head and the #1 spot holder on this list would be the wholesome light side.

Jackson could take any narration, anchor it with “Mother F-er!!!” and you’d be like “yeah, I see where he is coming from.”

1 Morgan Freeman

I gave Morgan Freeman the top spot over Jackson since I view Freeman as the wholesome, sober version of Two-Face’s coin (see above, not the one below).

Seriously, Freeman’s calm, soothing voice could be narrating a baby otter being torn to shreds by a pack of wild hyenas on National Geographic and you’d be like “Ahhh…isn’t nature beautiful…”

The Worst Voice For Narrating Daily Life: Bill Belichick

Former New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick (AKA Mama Fratelli from Goonies) press conferences were like the human equivalent of watching artificial grass grow.

Every question being answered with 30 to 45 seconds of unenthusiastic incoherent mumbling nonsense followed by “and we are on to Cincinnati next week.”

Honorable Mentions: John Wayne, Mr. Sang-il Kim (Appa) from Kim’s Convenience, Sean Connery, Flo from Progressive, Porky Pig

What other voices would you recommend as your inner monologue or to narrate your life?

Let me know in the comments below!

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