The internet nearly broke last week when Sony Pictures and Mattel announced they have tapped brothers Aaron & Adam Nee to direct their much anticipated He-Man and the Masters of the Universe movie.
If your initial response to the Eternia shattering news was “Who?“, don’t feel bad. You are not alone.
The brothers are best known directing the 2015 movie, “Band of Robbers“, which received positive critical reviews, but this will be their first big budget project. That makes them a fairly risky choice for a project that Sony has so much riding on.
The film is still being written by Dark Knight trilogy, Man of Steel & Justice League writer David S. Goyer. Goyer had previously been rumored to be directing He-Man as well, but has since said he will not due to his busy schedule (which includes the Terminator Reboot and Green Lantern Corp project). He is also being credited as executive producer.
Sony Pictures has extremely high hopes for the Masters of the Universe property after having a very successful 2017 thanks to films such as Spiderman: Homecoming and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.
Fortunately for Sony, Dolph Lundgren’s 1987 Masters of the Universe film set the He-Man Movie bar low. Like very, very low. (Think Snake $#!T low)
All the ‘behind the camera’ stuff is interesting, but how about the on screen talent? He-Man is an iconic 80’s character who will require a gigantic physical presence with just enough 80’s campiness mixed in. He needs to be fun and exciting yet have enough comedic presence to not be taken too seriously.
So who could possibly fill this Filmation loin cloth?
Here is Geeky Daddy’ Dream Cast for the new Masters Of The Universe Movie:
(Remember, this is our “Dream Cast” which is basically our version of a cinematic mock draft. We are not taking into account things like payroll concerns or actor’s schedule or even desire to accept the part.)
He-Man / Prince Adam
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Chris Hemsworth
The two most distinguishing physical traits of He-Man are obviously the build and the hair (probably in that order) and Hemsworth has got them both. His recent performance in Thor: Ragnarok also showcased his comedic timing, should the Nee Brothers decide to take He-Man in a more light hearted direction.
Fellow Marvel Universe front man Chris Pratt
WWE’s John Cena
WWE’s Dolph Ziggler (Come on. His name is ‘Dolph’ after all)
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson: (I actually don’t like this choice but I think he has a contract that gives him first right of refusal for any project that comes out of Hollywood)
Nicki Minaj (because nobody has pulled off the ‘Prince Adam’ look better)
Man At Arms
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Liam Neeson
Man At Arms had a particular set of skillz, a matter of fact delivery style and was handy with firearms. Who could possibly be a better choice than Bryan Mills
Tom Selleck (just because of the ‘stache. Nothing more.)
Bruce Campbell (and his boom stick!)
David Caruso (Although the best part about his role on CSI: Miami are the drinking games requiring a shot every time he takes his shades off. Maybe that could be replaced with Man At Arms laughing?)
He can rock the ‘stache as well! (which is a phrase I never thought I would say in my entire life)
Sean Bean is also a possibility but nobody wants to see Man At Arms die. So never mind.
The Sorceress was basically Jedi Council of Eternia. A tremendously powerful force who would send others on dangerous missions but would hang back safe and sound in the castle and do….I have no idea what. Quilting maybe? Bird cosplay perhaps?
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Carrie Anne Moss
Best known as Trinity from the Matrix trilogy, Moss possesses the pretty face and soothing voice that are going to be the most important characteristics for our sorceress (as well as a love for feathers).
Glenn Close: She has the voice and the sweet grandmotherly charm you’d expect from a Sorceress. Maybe she bakes cookies all day in the Castle Greyskull kitchen?
Keri Russell: You know how I mentioned a pretty face? Well anyone who has done a Cover Girl commercial you know has terrific skin.
Teela is the tough minded head of Eternia’s Royal Guard, bodyguard for bumbling Prince Adam and always carried a certain amount of sexual tension with Adam’s alter-ego He-Man. Think Xena meets Wonder Woman meets the wardrobe designer for Madonna in the 1980’s. Also, she is Man At Arms daughter, so if Liam Neeson does get the role, nobody better get any funny ideas about her.
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Daisy Ridley
Ridley is tough, beautiful and looks very convincing wielding weapons on screen.
Jaime Alexander: She has the bad-@$$ look and can rock some serious armor!
Mila Kunis: I think she is gorgeous and actually just really want to see her in skimpy armor.
He-man’s magician/buddy/comic relief Orko would obviously be CG, meaning the Orko casting would be voice only (ala Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy).
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Patton Oswalt
Oswalt seems to be working non-stop since the death of his wife in 2016 so I am not sure how much more room there is on his plate. Fortunately, like I pointed out earlier, that does not play into our little Masters of the Universe mock draft.
The master villain with the maniacal laugh would need to be mostly special effects make-up, so the voice would be the main attribute to consider here as well.
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Tom Ellis
In Lucifer, Tom Ellis has shown his ability to play a not always good guy character that you actually care about, laugh at, and feel sorry for…sometimes all in the same episode. He can also pull off the laugh!
Side note: Anybody not already watching Tom Ellis as Lucifer on Fox really should check it out. The show does stand out in the over saturated television market thanks to Ellis’ portrayal of the fallen angel, a creative cast of characters and some very intelligent script writing.
Willem Dafoe: Mostly because no budget eating costly make-up would be required.
Walton Goggins: I’m a huge fan of his acting and his teeth. Those suckers are perfectly straight and pearly white! Especially when they are preceded by Willem DaFoe’s chompers.
Mathew McConaughey: His career has had a bit of a renaissance (McCon-aissance?) since he started doing the Lincoln commercials
(Hey, I don’t name these characters, I’m just trying to cast them.)
She is hot, evil, kinda whiney and bat-$#!T crazy.
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Megan Fox
Like I said. “She is hot, evil, kinda whiney and bat-$#!T crazy.” Does that describe anyone better than Megan Fox?
Olivia Wilde: I liked her in Tron: Legacy but I think I am the only one who saw that movie.
Margot Robbie: Any doubts about her ability to play crazy were laid to rest with her performance of Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad.
Olivia Munn: I’ve been a fan of her since her days on Attack of the Show on G4TV and she needs a chance to redeem herself since that Psylocke debacle…
Much like Orko, Beastman would be CG or some type of special effects make-up, so we are looking for voice over talent.
Geeky Daddy’s Dream Choice: Vin “I Am Groot” Diesel
Jason Statham: Fellow Fast & Furious member Statham also has a distinctive voice is not as gravelly as Diesel’s (Vin Lite or Diet Diesel).
Dennis Haysbert: Despite a long movie and television career, he is better known as “the All State guy” (Although I only see Cerano from Major League cussing out Jobu).
What do you think of our casting choices?
Who would you like to see wield the power of Greyskull?
cool site and you are an awesome daddy with a really awesome cute boy :-)) The perfect daddy
but i have to disagree with you because of BEAST MAN
beast man should be played by an arab american
beast man is of arabian descent 🙂
EVIL LYNN was played by MEG FOSTER and she did that job really good ! nobody else can play her