I was watching the Paris Olympic swimming trials this weekend with Geeky Mommy and it got me a little excited for the upcoming Olympic competitions!
But the announce teams felt a little flat and monotone. Not quite Joe Buck snoozing through an NFL game monotone, but flat none the less. So it got me wondering who NBC could hire last minute to commentate the 2024 Paris Olympics who could really entertain their TV audience.
Lucky for you guys, I had some time to kill this morning and I put together the list of the TOP ANNOUNCE TEAMS I’D LIKE TO SEE ANNOUNCE THE 2024 OLYMPICS!
And, because I’m a geek, I thought the list would be more entertaining if I only used fictional characters!
(Feel free to forward this to anyone you may know at NBC Universal.)
1. Statler and Waldorf (The Muppets)
These crotchety old guys were yelling at obnoxious kids to get off their lawn long before Clint Eastwood made it cool.
And they actually made action figures of these Octogenarians!
2. Buck Laughlin (Best In Show)
Buck Laughlin was hilarious calling the dog show. Now just imagine him calling archery, fencing or a biathlon…especially if he wasn’t expecting the athlete to suddenly bust out a rifle!
Hopefully NBC has that 5-second delay and somebody prepped with their finger on the censor beep button!
3. Harry Doyle (Major League)
Major League was such a perfectly cast 80’s comedy. Although parts of the plot don’t stand up as well today (Jake Taylor’s pursuit of Lynn probably would have landed him in county lock up and a lifetime restraining order), Harry Doyle’s (Bob Uecker) comedic calls during the sorrowful Cleveland Indians season were awesome.
4. Lt. Frank Drebin and Cap. Ed Hocken (Naked Gun)
There is no better way to get me to root for some of these unknown athletes than to have Frank Drebin’s cool film noir inspired monologues filling me in on their backstories.
I’m sure the good Lt. Drebin would even be willing to make his famous singing voice available for the opening ceremonies if needed!
And, should any mind controlled athlete make an attempt on a member of European royalty, there is no one I would trust more to keep them safe.
Although, probably a good idea to leave Det. Nordberg behind on this mission…
5. Brockmire (Brockmire)
Hank Azaria’s under-appreciated comedy Brockmire ran for an impressive 4 seasons on AMC and can be currently streamed on AMC+ and Amazon Prime. It’s pretty funny and you really find yourself rooting for Brockmire to make it back to the big league!
6. Steve McCroskey and Johnny (Airplane!)
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”
If you ever repeat this classic line in public and somebody doesn’t get the reference, do the world a favor and smack them on the back of the head.
Steve McCroskey’s no-nonsense play-by-play call with Johnny’s high energy random nonsense sprinkled in…who wouldn’t want to watch this!
7. Ron Burgundy and Crew
Sumo wrestling wasn’t recognized as a sport by the International Olympic Committee until 2018 and is still not an Olympic event. But if it were, I can not think of a better crew to call an Olympic Sumo wrestling event than Ron Burgundy and his crack team!
8. Chuck Neiderman (Necessary Roughness)
When the NCAA cracked down on the fictional Texas State University Fightin’ Armadillos for violations, the only media member who stuck around (willingly or not) was the loyal play-by-play commentator Chuck Neiderman!
I’m glad he was able to partake in their victory over their instate rival!
(Spoiler Alert I guess, but I mean the movie is over 30 years old, so if you haven’t seen it by now…)
Honorable Mention: Jim Ross and Bobby The Brain Heenen
This entry gets the “Honorable Mention” because it is had to say where the Kayfabe with these professional wrestling commentators ends and the true personalities begin.
Initially I was going to pair good ol’ JR up with his longtime Monday Night Raw co-host Jerry The King Lawler, but there has just never been a better wrestling heel commentator than Bobby The Brain Heenen.
Heenan did is best work with Gorilla Monsoon and had already made the jump to WCW when Jim Ross started calling RAW, but I can just imagine The Brain’s reactions to some of Ross’s classic calls.
A chance to see these 2 work together in their primes would have been magical!
Also, Lawler’s over the top love of seeing women’s “puppies” pop out of their uniforms doesn’t age very well…
What are some other fictional characters you would love to see call Olympic events?
Let me know in the comments below.
As always, and Likes, Subcribes and Shares are always apprciated.
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Geeky Daddy 