I just watched one of those Progressive auto insurance “Becoming Your Parents” commercials and since Father’s Day is right around the corner…What better time then now to share some horrible ‘Dad Jokes!‘
At the family BBQ this weekend, show Dear Ol’ Dad you love him by sharing some of:
Geeky Daddy’s Top Ten Most Annoying Dad Jokes!
10 Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
I actually saw this one on the chalkboard at Potbelly’s one time.
I walked out without ordering anything.
9 Saying to the server “Give him the dinner check” while pointing to a baby in a high chair.
If the server laughed at this, rest assured it was because she works for tips and NOT because she found it funny.
Seriously, an immediate $50 service fee should be applied to the customer’s credit card for subjecting the server to this “unnecessary pain and suffering.” This type of behavior is never acceptable and should not be tolerated.
8 What people are always in a hurry? Russians!
It is rumored that the telling of this joke at an embassy dinner may have been what led to the Russian invasion of Afghanistan in 1979. Actually, I just made that up…but it is plausible.
7 “Did you get your haircut?” No, I got them all cut.
This response can and should only be answered with swift and vengeful violence.
6 Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs $2.50. You want to know why? Inflation.
Because it couldn’t be 2022 without some type of ‘inflation’ joke or comment.
5 Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.
If some one tells you this one, I’d advise giving them plenty of space!
(Holy Crap…what did I just do! Am I actually becoming my parent!?!)
4 It really takes guts to be an organ donor.
Yeah, Dad. We all see what you did there and no, it is not funny.
3 I’m so good at sleeping that I do it with my eyes closed.
This one could be substituted with “I was resting my eyes.” but it doesn’t matter. They both suck.
2 I’m on the seafood diet—I see food, then I eat it.
In most States, when someone tells you this one, I believe it is legal to slap them in the face.
Or at least it is encouraged. Either way, a judge would probably dismiss the charges.
1 “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
How about I just tell you to “Shut up.”
Seriously though, I used to look at Father’s Day as just another ‘Hallmark Holiday‘ or an excuse for hardware stores to run a sale on grilling supplies, but since have 2 boys of my own now, it has taken on a whole new meaning.
So whatever you call him, this Father’s Day just make sure actually call your dad and tell him you love him.
Don’t text or email, call. You never know what phone call with him will be your last.
Happy Father’s Day to all my fellow Dads and Granddads!
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