I think we can all agree that if any term could be used to describe the last couple of years, that term would be “Dumpster Fire.“
So in an effort to always expand our vocabulary, I’ve put together this alphabetical list of the:
TOP TEN OBSCURE TERMS YOU NEED TO ADD TO YOUR VOCABULARY IN 2022.
Askhole
That person (sometimes, but not exclusively, a ‘Karen’) who repeatedly ask for your advice on dilemma, never follows it, then tells you about how they made a poor decision and wishes they had listened to your advice….only to repeat the entire process the following Tuesday.
Callipygian
Originating in the early 19th century and initially referring to a famous statue of Venus, the term evolved to referring to someone “Having well-shaped buttocks.“
Chairman of the Bored
Someone with all the personality of a can of satin beige Sherwin Williams interior wall paint who you are not really friends with, but are required to hangout with in social settings because your kids or spouses are friends.
This person can usually be spotted at a party surrounded by unlucky souls with distant, glossed over looks on their faces because the “Chairman of the Bored” felt an unnecessary need to tell them every minute detail regarding some work project that they know absolutely nothing (and couldn’t care less) about.
Irish Handcuffs
When a person is unable to pick up their wallet they clumsily dropped because they are currently holding an alcoholic beverage in each hand. (I know Blair is not Irish, just thought the picture worked here.)
Kuchisabishii
Japanese word for when you are not hungry, but you eat because your mouth is lonely.
Man Standing
A guy standing outside the department store changing room, usually holding his spouse or girlfriend’s purse, with a blank look on his face while either staring off into space, looking at his fantasy football stats on his phone or trying not to get busted checking out the female “Callipygians” as they stroll by.
Monster Fodder
In reference to the job search site, this term is used for the co-workers who you are seeing for the final time at the office holiday party because they are unknowingly scheduled to get laid off in January. Side-Note: If you don’t know who they are at the party, you may be a “Monster Fodder.”
The Holiday Vortex
The time period between Christmas and New Years Eve where no one really works (much less even know what day it is), time has stopped being linear, day drinking is no longer frowned upon (in some social circles, even encouraged), it feels as if the kids’ return to daycare/school is lightyears away and contains the annual visit from distantly related family members (whom have already worn out their welcome).
I mean, what the hell is a “4th cousin once removed” anyway? Our parents were in the same 8th grade gym class? Maybe our grandparents shared a paper route?
Zoom-ocalypse
A career-ending suggestion stupidly blurted out by a co-worker during a Zoom meeting with executive level management, that was so mind-numbingly stupid that a board member felt it necessary to repeat it, raising his voice towards the end of the statement to morph it into a question, for the sole purpose of making sure everyone heard it correctly.
Zoom-egeddon
The brief moment of deafening silence heard over the Zoom meeting that immediately followed the “Zoom-ocalypse” but before the board member’s response. This period of quiet career-mourning has no specific time parameters, but will always feel exponentially longer than it really is.
Honorable Mention: Clam Jam
Simply put, this is the female counterpart of a ‘Cock Block.’ May also be referred to as the “Charlene Bravo” to the “Charlie Bravo.”
What are some other terms you learned over the COVID shutdown you’d like to share for the good & welfare of the group?
Let me know in the comments below!
Geeky Daddy 