As the non-stop onslaught of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies is upon us, we did get a glimpse of a good looking Christmas “Guy Movie” coming out in the form of FATMAN!
With this inspiration in mind, here are GEEKY DADDY’S TOP TEN CHRISTMAS MOVIES FOR GUYS!
10 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The first of multiple Shane Black projects on this list, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang saw detective Val Kilmer and grifter Robert Downey Jr team up to solve a murder in Hollywood around Christmas.
This movie was prior to Black and Downey Jr. teaming up for the Marvel fanbase polarizing Iron Man 3 and even before Downey was initially cast as Iron Man at all, but it shows off Downey’s ability to deliver humorous sarcastic lines during action sequences, which was part of what made the Iron Man movies so successful.
9 Rocky IV
Is there a better Christmas Day than when Stallone single handedly defeat communism in the middle of a boxing ring? Talk about a real Christmas Miracle, Al Michaels!
Rocky IV had all kinds of 80’s goodness! Iconic Russian villain, a hero wearing the red, white & blue, an awesome training montage over a synthesized soundtrack, Brigitte Nielsen at her most Brigette Nielson-ish and a weird robot with extremely limited usefulness.
Even an early Soviet prototype of the android technology that later became Bill Belichick!
and, unfortunately, the worst “inspirational speech” since Bill Pullman in ID4.
What would any movie list be without Bill Murray?
Scrooged put a Bill Murray spin on the holiday classic A Christmas Carol. The perfect blend of Bill Murray dry one-liners over moments like the suggestion of stapling antlers to the heads of mice in an attempt to attract cat owner viewership to a live broadcast of A Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve guarantee that this film will be a holiday staple of decades!
Geeky Side Note: Scrooged is also part of the greatest “What if?” in comic book movie history!
Tim Burton wanted Bill Murray to play Batman/Bruce Wayne in his 1989 Batman release but the shooting schedule of Scrooged and Batman overlapped, forcing Burton to go with his back up choice Michael Keaton. While there is no debate that Keaton nailed the role (completely reinventing his career), I will always be curious what a Batman cowled Bill Murray would have been like to see…
7 Bad Santa
Any fan of crude humor who has not seen Bad Santa is really doing themselves a dis-service.
Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox delivery all their lines from the smartly written heist script perfectly resulting in Geeky Daddy literally laughing out loud multiple times.
Just make sure you don’t put it on TV until the kiddies are dreaming of sugar plums tucked safely in their beds..
6 Long Kiss Goodnight
The second of multiple Shane Black projects on this list, Long Kiss Goodnight saw private investigator Samuel L. Jackson team up with amnesic assassin Gina Davis try to stop a large domestic terrorists attack around Christmas.
While normally it is Samuel L. Jackson delivering the immortal lines in his films, in this movie it was Brian Cox’s geriatric retired spy being thrust back into action that delivered the comedic goods!
While no Christmas scenes exist in the film, Tombstone was released on Christmas day and as such has become a Christmas viewing tradition in many households, so it kinda….sorta…is a Christmas movie?
And by “many households” I of course mean “my household” and since this is my list, I say it counts.
Val Kilmer stole every scene he was in Tombstone. He literally was Doc Holiday, but I am so curious how the film would have looked with the producers original casting for Doc Holiday: Willem DeFoe.
I couldn’t find any confirmed reason for the late recasting from DeFoe, although I did see multiple rumors that it was because Disney (Buena Vista’s parent company) didn’t like the idea of his casting after the controversial Passion of the Christ.
4 Trading Places
Trading Places is another of those movies that, no matter how many times your’ve seen it and no matter what else you have going on in your life, whenever it comes on (which seems to be a whole lot), you drop whatever you are doing, plop on the couch and watch it until Clarence Beeks gets shipped off to the jungle.
Watching Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy (and Jaime Lee Curtis’ breasts) in their prime is one of the best ways to enjoy the holidays!
I did feel kind of bad for Clarence Beaks in the end though…
3 Lethal Weapon
The third Shane Black project on this list (I should just be saving time by copy and pasting these descriptions), Lethal Weapon saw police investigator Danny Glover team up with suicidal (or was he….?) Mel Gibson to try to solve a series of drug related murders in Hollywood around Christmas.
Lethal Weapon ranks higher than the other Shane Black movies because A) it spawned 3 sequels (with a 4th sequel possibly in the works) and B) it introduced North American-none-Mad Max fans to the very talented Mel Gibson (prior to the whole calling a female police officer “Sugar Tits” thing).
2 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Leaps and bounds better than any of the other Vacation movie, Christmas Vacation is just nonstop laughs from start to finish.
Lines like “Don’t throw me down Clark!”, “He’s holding out for management position.”, “I don’t know Margo!” and “$#!TTER’S FULL!” are sentences you can say anywhere and people all around you will know exactly what you are referring to. At least, if they are cool they will. If they don’t, upgrade to some cooler friends.
Side Note: Has anyone else noticed that their dad is becoming more and more like Clark W. Griswold with each passing holiday season? Crumby dad jokes, Christmas light hanging mishaps and an overly romanticized view of how a large family gathering would actually go… that is my pops at least.
1 Die Hard
Like the #1 movie on this list could have possibly taken place anywhere other than Nakatomi Plaza.
Die Hard re-invented the modern action movie by taking numerous, what at the time were, substantial risks.
Including casting a television comedy star as the action lead, an over 40 actor in his very first movie role as the lead villain (can you believe Die Hard was Alan Rickman’s first movie?) and a bunch of GQ looking models as terrorists as opposed to the old trope of scarred up ugly bad guys.
The list of actors who were offered the role of the chain smoking super-cop John McClane reads like a who’s who of 80’s Hollywood. Clint Eastwood held the movie rights to the novel (Nothing lasts Forever) for years, Frank Sinatra played the character in a previous movie based on off the book series (1968’s The Detective) and was contractually obligated to be offered the right of first refusal for any sequels, Mel Gibson (who ironically turned down the role around the same time Bruce Willis turned down the role of Riggs in Lethal Weapon) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (who I think was simply attached to every action movie script in Hollywood between 1980 and 2000).
John McClane also placed in the Top 5 of the Toughest Johns In Movie History!
Honorable Guy Christmas Mentions: Batman Returns, Elf, Iron Man 3, Gremlins, Nightmare Before Christmas, Coming to America, Ronin
What did you think of our list? Comment below with your favorite guy Christmas movies and please like, share and subscribe if you enjoy our content!