The Top Ten Worst Pumpkin Spice Products

Well 2020 is finally closing in on its merciful conclusion.

The month of October has rolled around which means the annual arrival of 2 things: Han Solo Season and Pumpkin Spice Everything Season!

While the Pumpkin Spiced Latte from Starbucks is probably the most famous and widely consumed of all the artificially pumpkin flavored Autumn madness, the invasion of the flavor parasite known as Pumpkin Spice is by no means limited to simply over-priced caffeinated beverages.

Or even limited to flavor combinations that make sense to rational human beings, for that matter.

Just as glitter is the herpes of the ‘arts and crafts’ world, pumpkin spice is the herpes of the grocery store.

It finds its way into everything, is impossible to get rid of and doesn’t really improve a thing.

Here are the Worst Pumpkin Spiced Products On The Market

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1 Pumpkin Spice Spam

The first time I saw this product, I thought it was a gag or photo-shopped joke.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

2 Pumpkin Spice Sausage

I like chicken sausage. Cut up and tossed in with some scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese. Yum! Pumpkin is just such an unnecessary element to add to the equation.

3 Pumpkin Spice Pasta Sauce

And here we all thought pineapple on pizza was the worst edible abomination the Italians were forced to endure…

4 Pumpkin Spice Hommus

This one just…Well, if you really…ummm…I mean…Never mind, I got nothin’.

5 Pumpkin Spice Almonds

Some items on this list kind of make sense. This simply isn’t one of them.

6 Pumpkin Spice Twinkies

This is the one item on this list that I actually enjoy the taste of.

That being said, I am still more of a traditionalist and prefer the original.

7 Pumpkin Spice Latte Peeps

Full disclosure: I am just not a fan of Peeps. Or marshmallows in general really. Even in cereal.

8 Pumpkin Spice Deodorant

You are getting ready for a hot date. You spend your time picking out the perfect outfit, style your hair just right and apply your pumpkin spice deodorant!?!

This says something abut you, but if you actually get lucky that night, I think this says more about your date…

9 Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil

This item kind of goes hand-and-hand with the deodorant.

If after a liberal application of pumpkin spice beard oil, you finish the evening with a make-out session with your date, you may want to question if she really loves you or if she just really loves pumpkin pie?

10 Pumpkin Spice Toothpaste

Yep, after brushing your teeth, instead of the same old boring mint flavor, leave your teeth with the fresh taste of…Pumpkin Pudding!

So obviously I am not unbiased. I don’t get the whole pumpkin spice insanity of Autumn. How about you? Comment below with the craziest “Pumpkin Spice” nonsense you have come across!


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