Who Does My Newborn Most Closely Resemble?

This past June, we welcomed our second son, Lincoln, into the world.

And no one was more excited to meet him than his big brother, Lil’ G-Man.

“Can I keep it?”

Side Note for all expecting parents/grandparents: Make sure you create a Baby Registry on Amazon! The free welcome box and 15% off registry completion make it so worth it!

While I know it is social etiquette to respond to new baby announcements with customary polite statements like “He is so gorgeous!”, “What a cutie pie!” or “So precious. He looks just like you!”, the reality is most newborns look like tiny, little bald old men.

Public Service Announcement: Don’t be that douche with the “Your baby looks like the UPS guy” crack. It wasn’t funny when our parents were making the joke 30 years ago and why would you doubt my wife’s fidelity anyway?

So all dad jokes aside, who does my new baby most resemble?

Here are the Top 7 Geeky Inspired Resemblances For Our Baby:

1 Don Rickles

While the Little Linc-ster does crack me up quite a bit, it is not quite in the same Don Rickles stand-up type way. More of a clumsy Mr. Bean type way…

2 Kuato (from Total Recall)

My wife is going to kill me for this one.

“Quaid…get to the reactor…” The remake wasn’t bad, but the Schwarzenegger Total Recall is the true Total Recall.

3 Dana Elcar (Pete Thornton from MacGyver (the real one)

Pete Thornton & Lincoln apparently share the same barber!

Pete used to give MacGyver his marching orders at the beginning of every episode. Much like how my kids give me marching orders at the beginning of every day…except Pete treated MacGyver with dignity and respect and mine treat me with the same amount of respect Star Trek writers treated red shirted crew members…

4 Wallace Shawn (‘Inconceivable’ guy from Princess Bride’)

I often scream the same “Inconceivable” quote that Wallace Shawn made famous from the movie Princess Bride! Except mine is more like “Inconceivable…that something so small can poop so much!”

This massive diaper still haunts my nightmares…

5 Krang (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Every 90’s kid grew up watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (most are probably singing the opening credit song to themselves right now), except when we wear our Lille baby carrier, Lincoln gets to live it!

6 Master Blaster (Mad Max: Beyond Thunder Dome)

Speaking of ordering me around while being worn on a carrier…

7 Michael Chiklis (early 90’s Commish comb-over days, not the shaved head ripped Shield days)

Once again, the same barber.

The best way to describe the haircut is like a Hulk Hogan Skullet (mullet but bald on top) combined with a George Blaha comb-over.

What do you think? Who does baby Lincoln resemble most to you? Let me know in the comments below!

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3 Comments

  1. this is some funny sh*t!!! He looks like all of them! he’s got some BIG blue eyes. I miss the newborn days. Enjoy it cause they grow up way too fast!

    Like

  2. So cute! He definitely looks a little like Wallace Shawn, but I think Wallace Shawn looks a little like most babies šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤£šŸ¤£

    Liked by 1 person

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