There are multiple definitions for the term “Hipster.”
I prefer Urban Dictionary‘s definition: people that try too hard to be different (and genuinely do think that they’re being different), by rejecting anything they deem to be too popular.
Another critical element that defines many of our modern unconformist ‘Hipsters’ is the elitist attitude that they look down onto rest of mainstream society with. Almost a ‘holier than thou’ because “my gluten-free vegan poop don’t stink’ attitude they may have.
Obviously, I am not talking about all people who enjoy this unique fashion sense in this article.
The vast majority of Hipsters are polite, inclusive supporters of the hair product industry. This checklist is simply focusing on the Hipster sub faction that tries to Hipster just a little too hard.
Doing everything possible to make oneself stand out from those around you solely to be noticed (while pretending not to care what others think about you) doesn’t make you a better person than others around you: It makes you more obnoxious than others around you.
Hipsters come in multiple different levels. Today’s true Hipster is sort of like the main character in a role-playing game that is on a continuous quest to level up their standing by acquiring as many vintage clothing items, facial hair sculpting products and sleeve tattoos as possible.
But how to differentiate someone with simply eclectic/socially awkward style (doing the Hipster minimum) vs. someone who has completely gone off the deep end (37 pieces of Hipster flair) is the hard part.
For this test, assign yourself 1 point for each line item that you fit into/describes you.
(For the simplicity sake of this test, each characteristic will be evenly graded at 1 point each. In the real world, some of these are weighed much heavier than others…)
Here is the Geeky Daddy Hipster Top 20 Checklist Quiz! Keep track of how many bullets you hit then see what level of Hipster you are!
1 Use multiple hair products, none of which were ever tested on animals
2. Own at least one vintage bicycle that is sometimes ridden to work
3 Favorite drink is a micro distillery Old Fashioned (Assign yourself a bonus 1/2 point if you only use whiskey infused with bacon)
4 Own a minimum of at least 1 bowtie for each day of the work week
6 Uncanny ability to confidently wears inappropriately tight skinny jeans
7 Enjoys cold brew coffees that nobody else has ever heard of
8 Always has a Douche Flute (vape pen) within arms reach.
9 Facial hair that takes hours to sculpt and resembles shapes on a Rorschach test
10 Strong irrational belief that things sound better on vinyl
11 Multiple sleeve tattoos that are completely meaningless (even to yourself)
12 Consistently wears weird inexcusably high priced footwear
13 Dons a scarf with a t-shirt during the summer
14 Sports a douche-knot (AKA Man Bun) but is not a samurai
15 Only non-micro beer willing to touch is Pabst Blue Ribbon
16 Loves to point out the irony in everything (even in things that are not ironic)
17 With the mesh trucker hat, suspenders and 80’s graphic t-shirt, you are unknowingly cos-playing Sylvester Stallone from Over The Top
18 Dwells in a downtown loft where every piece of furniture is made out of reclaimed wood
19 Has been mistaken for a lumberjack or Paul Bunyan cos-play
20 Mustache Handle bars are strong enough to support the weight of small birds or clothing hangers.
Whew…that was exhausting. I could sure go for a good cold brew coffee right about now..
OK, lets see how you scored and what level of Hispter you are!
1 to 5 Points: Barely accomplishing the Hipster minimum. You are basically Joanna from Office Space with her minimum pieces of flair. Don’t you want to express yourself?
6 to 14 Points: Mediocracy, not standing out, forgettable…The circle of hell that is any true Hipster’s greatest fear.
15 to 20 Points: Over the top screaming “Look at me!” in every way except verbally. Pretty much Brian from Chotchkie’s in Office Space. You look down on the ‘Joannas’ of the world that are “not even trying.”
What did you think of our Hipster checklist? How did you score on the test? Comment below!
Please share with your friends, hipster or otherwise!
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