Mother’s Day is closing in on us like John Wick on an animal-abusing Russian mob boss. Are you armed and prepared with the right gifts?

I’ve never understood the allure of giving flowers for Mother’s Day.
Taking some beautiful creatures, ripping them out of the ground and away from their family (issuing them a death sentence), placing them in a glass or cardboard coffin and giving them to your loved one.

“Here. These were ripped away from their family and will soon wither away and die. Please don’t take this as a metaphor for when we place you in an assisted living facility. Happy Mother’s Day!”

So rather than giving her some expensive some short lived vegetation, accompanied with a generic dollar store Mother’s Day card, lets get mom something she will be able to use and enjoy throughout the Summer!
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Here are Geeky Daddy’s Top Five Mother’s Day Gift Ideas That Mom Actually Wants!
1 Motorized Pool Float
Let mom create her own ‘lazy river’ with this motorized float! Thanks to the built in cupholders, her hands are freed to utilize the 2 independent joystick controlled motors to cruise effortlessly around the pool or lake.
The heavy duty vinyl and plastic can hold up to 300 lbs which means Dad can take it out for a spin as well!

2 Happy First Mothers Day Mommy Infant Baby Onesie
All jokes and sarcasm aside, Mother’s Day is a time to warm mommy’s heart and remind her how much she is loved and appreciated. And keep in mind she will only have a “First Mother’s Day” once…so don’t blow it!
Utilize the little rug rats as cute little toddling billboards to get the message across with these cute onesies
3 20″ Tall Wine Glass
This 20″ Tall Hand Blown Clear Wine Glass Bottle is the perfect gift idea for any stressed out mom looking for a new dining room table center piece, new fish bowl, wine chiller or simply can’t take listening to Baby Shark on more damned time!
The size of this gigantic wine glass was calculated to hold the exact amount of wine necessary to endure a 3-year-old’s birthday party, an afternoon chaperoning the entire pre-school class at the zoo or a simple evening at home…with a 6 hour Paw Patrol cartoon marathon.
4 I Love Mommy Because…Book
If NASA contracted a mad scientist to create a formula for the “cutest matter possible on Earth”, I guarantee that formula would include at least 2 elements: Baby otters and toddlers whispering “I love you mommy”.
Well both those ingredients are utilized in our #4 item: I Love Mommy Because… by Laurel Porter-Gaylord. Children will love reading about how baby animals spend time with their moms, and mamas everywhere will love celebrating Mother’s Day—or any occasion—with this adorable gift from their little ones.
5 AmazonFresh
There is no better gift than the gift of time. While time traveling DeLoreans are not available to the public yet (please get on that Elon Musk), helping mom reduce the amount of time she spends waiting in check out lines will need to be the next best thing.
Everything from produce to meat products to frozen foods can be delivered right to the front door with AmazonFresh. Even dinner for 2 meal kits to make for a romantic evening at home…provided you have a place to ship the kids for a night.

If AmazonFresh is available in your area, I highly recommend getting mom a subscription! You can access a Free Trial Here!
Honorable Mention: Star Wars Lightsaber Book Light
No where is it written that a gift for her can’t benefit you as well.
My wife likes to stay up late at night reading in bed. Which is fine, except when I’m trying to sleep and she is using her 1800 Lumens center-of-the-friggin’-sun reading lamp.
Instead, I got her this Star Wars Lightsaber Book Light! It clips to her book and uses an adjustable arm to center the LED light saber over the page. Plenty of light on her “lightside” of the bed for her to read and plenty of darkness on my “darkside” of the bed for me to sleep.
Available in both Luke’s lightsaber and Darth Vader’s.

Side Note: This lamp is available on Amazon.com but is priced slightly lower on ThinkGeek.com
What do you think of our list of gift ideas? Would your mother be happier with these gifts or drugstore flowers?
Let us know in the comments below!
I second the first Mother’s Day onesie. I loved the one my little one had on my first Mother’s Day. And boy could I use that giant wine glass today. Haha!
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I love the onesie and the wine glass!! I actually think the motorized pool float is an excellent idea. I live near a lake and one of these would be fantastic!!
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The handblown wine glass bottle! I can think of so many uses for it. Such a great idea!
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