Top Six (or so) Married With Children Products Still Available Today!

Married With Children originally aired for 11 controversial seasons from 1987 to 1997.

I loved it then (mostly because of Christina Applegate’s Kelly Bundy) and I still love it now (almost exclusively for Ed O’Neil’s amazing portrayal of Al Bundy).

So much so that I recently wrote a Fan Theory about how Ed O’Neil’s current hit sit-com Modern Family could potentially be a sequel to Married With Children taking place in Al Bundy’s mind.

Last month a created a list of The Top Ten Golden Girls Products You Never Knew Existed and was shocked out the amount response (views, Likes and comments) the article quickly received. That is one extremely dedicated fanbase!

Yes, That’s A Golden Girls Windshield Sun Shield.

So I decided that my favorite women’s shoes salesman and high school football star Al Bundy deserved the same level of love.

I was unable to find as many unique products as I did for the geriatric quartet from God’s Waiting Room (Florida), but I did find some great ‘No Ma’am’ goodies!

Spoiler: No Kelly Bundy shower curtain.

But Here They Are:

Geeky Daddy’s Top Six (or so) Married With Children Still Available Today!

6. Al Bundy’s Polk High Football Jersey

Tom Brady may be known as the G.O.A.T (I had never heard that term until like 2 years ago), but the great Al Bundy once scored 4 touchdowns for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School! Including the game winner against Bubba “Spare Tire” Dixon (prior to his career with the police academy).

What better way to celebrate Al Bundy’s incredible accomplishment than with this vintage Polk High commemorative jersey (i.e. cotton T-shirt). The shirt even comes with a a nifty Married With Children Al Bundy sticker! Why? Why not.

5. Married With Children Action Figures

Ever want to re-enact your favorite scenes from the Married With Children series? Well, me neither, but apparently some people do.

Enter the 2018 New York City Comic Con Exclusive Married With Children Bundy Family action figure set. This highly detailed set of 3 1/2″ figures are the perfect collectible for any fan of the show to display on their work desk, cubicle wall or women’s shoe store cash register.

4. No Ma’am T-Shirt & Hat

Everyone remembers Al’s No Ma’am meetings (usually held in the garage). Next to his shoe store customer insults, the No Ma’am meetings had some of Al Bundy’s best lines.

And don’t hide your bald spot with bad comb-over when the No Ma’am soft mesh hat is available!

3. Funko Pop! Bundy Family

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t understand the Funko Pop! craze.

But I guess that is just me because they are tremendously popular, there are countless characters and they are EVERYWHERE! I guess every generation has their own Beanie babies.

I will say the characterizations on these figures is well done! Bud’s mullet, Kelly’s tight dress, Peggy’s animal print top and Al with one hand stuck down his pants and the TV remote in the other.

Although, I gotta admit, the ‘Target Exclusive’ Al Bundy Polk High Uniform is my favorite!

2. Al Bundy’s Stay In School T-Shirt

You how in kindergarten people ask what you want to be when you grow up? Children answer with vocations such as “police officer” or “Teacher” because they “want to help people.” (It isn’t until decades later that those same children learn that those jobs pay like $15 a month after taxes…)

Anyway, my point is that no child ever answers with “I want to sell women’s shoes to the morbidly obese at Gary’s Shoes in a low rent mall.”

Do your part to encourage those around you to better themselves with this 100% cotton pre-shrunk T-shirt.

We all have that one uncle this shirt would be perfect for. And if you don’t think you do, that means you are that uncle.

1. Peggy Bundy Sexy Housewife Costume

There are many unexplained wonders in the universe. Are we alone? Is there life after death? Why is Nutella so damn popular?

But the most perplexing, unexplained mystery of all: Why did Al Bundy never want to have sex with Peggy?

Aubern hair helmet aside I mean…

Well you can solve the mystery yourself with this detailed costume available from Starline. The costume set comes with off the shoulder top, waist belt accent, leggings, and wig.

What did you think of our list? Are there any Married With Children products on the market that I missed?

I was initially surprised by the lack of licensed merchandise available for the show, especially compared to the amount and variety of Golden Girls products I found.

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4 Comments

  1. The only ones I’ve seen are the funko pops and action figures but none of the other stuff. I used to love that show and yeah I never understood why Al Bundy never wanted to have sex with Peggy either lol.

    Like

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