Candidate for Un-Fatherly Of The Year Award Learns Celebrating $96K Settlement With Hookers Is A Bad Idea

We are going to try out a new feature here at GeekyDaddy: Not Very Fatherly Friday!

unfatherly darth vader 1

Each week we will feature real world fathers who faired poorly at their fatherly duty.

Our inaugural un-fatherly father is 30-year-old Saul Mata Vellegas who took home $96,000 from a lawsuit involving a car accident.

Except, of course, he didn’t take it home.

Screen Shot 2018-03-29 at 4.51.43 PM
“Hey honey, the darnedest thing just happened.”

Rather then head home to his family, Vellegas decided to stuff all $96K in cash into a briefcase and head over to the Van Cortlandt Motel in the Bronx for a late night rendezvous with three charming hookers.

prostitutes
I’m sure they have hearts of gold.

The evening could only get better from there right?

Except of course, it didn’t.

Because, after seeing the briefcase full of $96K in cash, the prostitutes suggested that they call some of their friends over to bring beer and cigarettes.

By “friends“, we of course mean “gun toting men in ski masks” and by “bring beer and cigarettes“, we of course mean “rob at gun point.”

masked gun men

In a scene that must have looked like something straight out of a low budget Steven Segal movie, the masked, gun toting ‘friends’ rolled up in a black mini-van, relieved Vellegas of his cash stuffed luggage and peeled out of the parking lot! And just to add insult to injury, the prostitutes left with them!

out-for-justice
“Where’s Richie Madano?”

“I am haunted by this,” said Vellegas. “I keep playing it over in my mind. I was surprised they pulled a gun. I said ‘What is going on. I yelled help, help. I was depending on that money to move my family. I am nervous all the time now. I keep replaying it over and over. I see the weapon they used clearly over and over. I needed that money badly.”

New York police have released photos of the gun men, the three women and the mini-van used in this dastardly deed. All are being sought after for questioning.

Including the mini-van.

black mini van
“Have you seen this van?”





Advertisements

Flat Earth Enthusiast ‘Mad’ Mike Hughes Finally Blasts Off!

Back in November, we wrote about the 61-year-old limousine driver, entrepreneur and amateur scientist (who doesn’t actually believe in science) named ‘Mad’ Mike Hughes and his attempt to fly his homemade rocket high enough to prove the Earth is flat.

mike hughes 2
What $20,000 and a whole lot of free time can buy you.

His attempts ran into a couple delays, including Federal Aviation Administration clearance and a broken motor in his mobile home/ rocket launcher, but with the proper paperwork filed and a few screws tightened, five months later we had lift off!

mike hughes lift off

The launch took place this past Saturday afternoon, March 24, 2018, in the Mojave Desert in California and sent ‘Mad’ Mike 1,875 feet into the sky in his homemade rocket.

coyote on rocket
How I pictured the launch in my head, not how it actually happened. I assume.

‘Mad’ Mike (seriously what better way is there to add credibility to your name than by adding an adjective like “Mad” in front of it?) built the rocket and custom launcher himself for a total investment of around $20,000, which he should be given plenty of credit for. That must have required an impressive amount of engineering and dedication.

However, if we look at the experiment from a simple return on investment point of view, a couple hundred dollars for an airline ticket would have been much more cost effective…and safer.

Just for a point of reference, the window seats on the Delta Airlines flight my family took to Cancun Mexico last month cruised at approximately 30,000 feet. That is roughly 16 times higher than the 1,875 foot altitude ‘Mad’ Mike’s rocket achieved.

And Lil’ G-Man got a free mini sombrero out of the trip!

Lil G-Man in Sombrero
Hola senior.

At least ‘Mad’ Mike did come out of the adventure (possible suicide attempt?) relatively uninjured…

mike hughes injured

As to his belief that the planet Earth is actually shaped like an IHOP pancake, Mike held firm in his interview with the Associated Press:

“I don’t believe in science” he said. “I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust, but that’s not science, that’s just a formula.”

He concluded with (what is sure to become a catch phrase or novelty t-shirt in the near future), There’s no difference between science and science fiction.” 

So, according to ‘Mad’ Mike’s logic, that would make Star Wars historical fiction!?! Afterall, it did happen “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…”

bill nye

Side Note: Is it just me, or does it sound like this guy is applying for a science officer position in Trump’s cabinet?






Teen Crashes Into Test Office While Taking Driving Exam

You know how sometimes it is fun to kick back and reminisce about all those mindless stunts you pulled in high school and think “Man, I am lucky to still be alive!”

I remember in high school trying to help my buddy Jason learn to drive. His parents were to afraid to let him behind the wheel and after one driving lesson with him in the local Taco Bell parking lot….I understood why.

Taco Bell crash
No actually us, but could have been…

Well apparently Jason has a 17-year-old relative in Buffalo Minnesota.

According to the Buffalo Minnesota police department, a teen had this SUV in drive while they meant to back out of the parking space. If that is the case, this teen must have slammed the accelerator pretty darn hard, based on the damage to the SUV and the building!

buffalo driving test

The 60-year-old woman administering the test was taken to Buffalo Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. The driver’ was unhurt, but I am sure is the butt of a lot of jokes at school this week.

Parents: Make sure you practice driving with your teen before they take the driving exam! I suggest an empty parking lot with no glass and brick buildings or pedestrian sidewalks nearby.


Taco Bell Chips To Compete With Doritos?

Taco bell has been killing it lately with their new Nacho Fries and are not done trying new and exciting things!

tacobell_friessupreme_v-2

This May, forget making a run for the border for your Taco Bell fix, you will only need to run as far as your local grocery store’s chip aisle.

Taco Bell is going to branch out into the chip aisle with 3 new flavors of tortilla chips. Two of the new flavors will be based on the sauces “Fire” and “Mild” currently available at ‘the bell’ and the third will be a classic tortilla flavor.

Taco Bell Chips

The Mild chips are infused with flavors from three types of chili peppers and cumin, while Fire will bring the heat with hints of jalapeño, chili peppers and paprika. For those who prefer their tortilla chips without any extras, Taco Bell is also releasing a “Classic” chip that will simply be tossed in salt, like a traditional, restaurant-style tortilla chip.

This is not Taco Bell’s first entry into the chip aisle. Once upon a time, fellow PepsiCo product Doritos had a licensed Taco Supreme Taco Bell flavored chip.

Taco bell DoritosIt will be interesting to see if the Taco Bell chips cut into fellow PepsiCo product Doritos market share.

Taco Bell also has a partnership with Kraft Foods that keeps their brand name in the ethnic food aisle with branded beans, taco shells and sauces.


Taco Bell Spicy Ranch Sauce

Taco Bell has been killing it lately with their new Nacho Fries

Want Your Child To Get Into An Elite College? Study Shows To Start Buying Them Legos Now!

Legos are one of the most popular and diverse toy lines created in the last 100 years. From the toddler friendly Duplo blocks to the intricate 7,500+ piece Millennium Falcon, everybody loves Legos!

lego-new-ucs-millennium-falcon
What A Piece Of Junk!”

Lego Japan recently released the findings of a real interesting study. The study asked 100 graduates from each of six of Japan’s most elite universities (the University of Tokyo and Waseda, Keio, Hosei, Meiji, and Rikkyo Universities) about their childhood habits and how they think it affected their development.

More than 60 percent of the graduates from each of the universities said they played with Legos as children and 92 percent of them didn’t even use the Lego provided instructions (i.e. built from scratch). When asked how they thought the Legos improved their brain development, more than half claimed it improved their concentration, spacial organization, and creativity.

Lego Classic Bricks
Lego Classic Bricks are available at Amazon.com

Last September, the Geeky Family headed over to the Brickworld Fan Exposition to introduce Lil’ G-Man to the wonderful world of Legos. While he was a little too young to appreciate much of the engineering marvels that we saw, he did enjoy tossing the Duplos around.

military ship legos
Available at AliExpress.com

Who’s Up For A Pickle Juice Slushie?

The fast food chain Sonic is known for many things. It’s vintage way of ordering from your car, servers of roller skates and the two goofy guys on their TV commercials.

When I think of Sonic, the first thing that comes to mind for me is their wide variety of Slushie flavors! This June, the fast food chain will be adding a new flavor to their inventory: Pickle Juice!

Sonic Pickle Juice Slushie
I wonder what the secret of the ooze is?

While this flavor probably won’t be making Geeky Daddy Top 5 list of Slushie choices (or top Ten for that matter), pickle flavor is popular and will surely find a (novelty) market.

Although no fast food novelty will ever top the Burger King Fifty Shades Of Gray Meal Deal.

burger-king-is-giving-away-sex-toys-in-adult-meals-for-valentine-s-day

Side Note: Sonic’s fried Pickle-O’s are some of the best fried pickles available. If you haven’t tried them, you are surely missing out!