The Joy of Cooking: Porg Edition. The Top 5 Porg Recipes!

Regardless of whether you loved Star Wars: The Last Jedi or despised it, we can all agree on a couple things:

  • At least we were not subjected to the idiotic Jar Jar Binks or had our intelligence insulted with terms such as “Younglings” & “midichlorians”
  • The Porgs are pretty darn cute and look tasty!

One of the more entertaining scenes from the latest Star Wars movie was when everybody’s favorite Wookiee, Chewbecca, was roasting himself a Porg dinner over an open fire in full view of the Porg’s extended family.

porgs
“Is he roasting Daryl!?!”

Watching the scene made me laugh and wonder if the Disney merchandising machine hadn’t already struck a deal with Buffalo Wild Wings on a cross promotion (I may or may not have stopped for an order of wings on the way home from the theater).

But how would Porg taste? Like chicken? Duck? Is Porg “the other white meat”?

And what would be the best way to prepare a Porg dinner?

Here are Geeky Daddy’s Top 5 Recipes For Porg

1. Deep Fried Porg

turkey fryer
Turkey Fryers for the easiest prep!

Inserting the words “Deep Fried” in front of anything is pretty much guaranteed to make it taste better.

“Hey Dave, want to try a taste of this shoe leather?”

“What? No!”

“Are you sure? I just fried some up.”

“Well I guess I’ll give it a shot. A little taste can’t hurt.”

I’d imagine the prep would be pretty easy too! Snag a Turkey Fryer kit off our friends at Amazon.com and follow this simple recipe, replacing the turkey with our friendly neighborhood porg.

2. Porg Fajitas

fajitas

Who doesn’t love fajitas? There’s nothing better than the aroma and sizzling sound of a fresh plate of fajitas being served to your table! Especially when enjoyed with a fresh Colt 45 cerveza!

lando bar
“Hey Finn, say ‘Hi’ to your mom for me.”

Follow this recipe for some flavorful Porg Fajita (substituting the chicken for Porg obviously) and make sure to enjoy it with a beer out of this awesome Han Solo in Carbonite fridge available on ThinkGeek.com.

3. Porg Cordon Bleu

RR12_05CORDON

I am not the biggest fan of French cuisine (I mean, how many uses for mayonnaise are there?), but any chance to combine chicken, ham, cheese and frying, I am game to try.

iron man gif

Porg Cordon Bleu (which translates to English as “Porg blue ribbon”) consists of Porg pounded flat and wrapped around ham & cheese, then pan or deep fried. Based on the size of the average Porg, these may end up being appetizers as opposed to a main course.

IMG_20171225_132808
“What are you doing Dave?”

Think of this as more of the “pizza roll” of the French cuisine Porg options.

2. BBQ Porg Wings

wings

Whether hitting the high end night clubs in the Cloud City of Bespin or a hole in the wall cantina full of scum and villainy on a middle of nowhere planet like Tatooine, there in no better bar food than wings!

Whether you enjoy Buffalo style, Korean BBQ or Habanero Mustard, it doesn’t really matter because you are going to end up spending time in the same scary cantina bathroom later on anyway…

bathroom

And who knows more about bar food, diner bathrooms and looking like a character out of a Sci-fi movie than Guy Fieri! What he lacks in fashion knowledge he makes up for in food knowledge!

guy1
How do you take anything this ICP reject-looking dude says seriously?
BBQ sauces
Available on Amazon.com

1. FRENCH’s Crispy Onion Porg

frenchs chicken big

How awesome are FRENCH’s crispy fried onions? As a simple cooking ingredient, a topping on a cheeseburger or by itself as a snack, so long as you don’t plan on making out with somebody in the next 20 minutes, it is the perfect food!

IMG_20171225_133007
“Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

This simple recipe (taken from FRENCH’s website) has only 4 ingredients, 2 of which are “Porg” and “Porg’s egg”.

french onion
Available on Amazon!

Why was Luke fishing with a 50 ft spear when he could be spending his years of self imposed exile munching on the delicacy that is porg meat? It’s not like that scene advanced the plot of the movie or anything…



Honorable Mention:

“Low-Odor Fried Porg Homestyle” From Japan

KFC Japan

Apparently commuters traveling home from the busy Shinjuku subway station in Tokyo Japan don’t enjoy the smell of deep fried chicken goodness after a long day’s work.

So the space age engineers at KFC developed an “low-odor” fried chicken that they are selling at a temporary KFC location within the Shinjuku train station.

KFC-Japanese-Christmas-Christmas-Chicken-Shop

So how about transitioning this technology into some “low-odor fried Porg”? Not that Luke needs to worry about upsetting any neighbors or anything, but still advancements in technology is a good thing right?

Right? Like technology to remote pilot a starship maybe? Or maybe A.I programs for self-driving cars that could reprogrammed for space cruisers…

vice admiral Holdo
“Why didn’t I think of that…”

What do you think? What Porg recipes that I leave off the list that you’d like to try?

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