Happy Hump Day World!
This is the inaugural post of a new feature the Geeky Daddy team is putting together called Whiteboard Wednesday!
With each Whiteboard Wednesday post, Lil’ G-Man and I will attempt to deep dive into Geeky related hypothetical questions that make us go “hmmm…”.
This week we are looking into the curious “What if..” scenario of:
“What if Sean Bean faced a firing squad of Imperial storm troopers?”
Star Wars stormtroopers are known throughout the galaxy as the foot soldiers of the evil galactic empire and the Sith lords Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader. They are also more famously known for their comically horrible aim and inability to hit the broadside of Star Destroyer from close range.
Sean Bean is a very accomplished British actor known throughout geek-dom for his memorable roles as Boromir in Lord of the Rings movies and Eddard Stark in HBO’s Game of Thrones series, as well as appearing in movies such as GoldenEye, Troy, Equilibrium, Ronin and tons of voice-over work for television and video games.
Bean is also more famously known over the past 3 decades for dying in nearly all of his roles on screen in every conceivable way possible!
So this begs the question:
What if Sean Bean faced a firing squad composed solely of Imperial storm troopers?
Would the storm troopers miss the target so poorly that the firing squad eventually all hit themselves with “friendly fire”?
Would they simply continue firing and missing non-stop until Sean Bean died of old age?
Geeky Daddy’s theory:
The (attempted) execution would have taken place aboard the first Death Star. The storm troopers’first half dozen volleys or so would all comically miss Sean Bean, perforating the wall behind him. The right side of Sean’s mouth curls up into a lop-sided grin as he begins to think that he may escape alive.
Unfortunately for him however, he is still Sean Bean. The execution is taking place mere moments before the proton torpedoes from Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing reached the 2 meter wide exhaust port igniting the chain reaction that destroyed the Death Star, killing all aboard. Including Sean Bean.