Here in Geeky Manor we have some riveting dialogues. Most of the time GeekyMommie rolls her eyes, but every so often she gets into the conversation. After watching Lil’ G-Man’s interest in petting (and then trying to gnaw on) our kitties and dog, it spurred a conversation on fictional pets.
While there are some awesome fictional dogs (Brian from the Family Guy, Snoopy, Dog Wonder, Timber from G.I. Joe), fictional cats (Battlecat) and even fictional owls (Hedwig), I kept the list to include truly fictional critters.
What: These cute, teddybear creatures from the moon of Endor are quite controversial in the Star Wars universe, creating a huge divide in Ewok lovers vs. haters. Thanks Jar-Jar Binks for making Ewok haters dislike you more than said Ewoks. There’s also a great clip on How I Met Your Mother where Barney discusses “The Ewok line” – essentially how the year you were born determines your love or hate of Ewoks. The recording is awful, but it’s too funny not to share.
Pros: These guys are pretty cute (they’re basically walking shih tzus), can take down the Empire with sticks and stones and have an adorable language.
Cons: You need to build them a tree house, I’m not sure if these guys would really be interested in being kept as pets and curious as to the poop situation. Can you litter train an Ewok, or are they more like feral Ewoks that can just poop outside in the trees? I wonder what the city’s policy is for picking up Ewok poop. They also might try to eat you, so yeah, there’s that.
What: The dragon dog from The Neverending Story (which seriously also looks like a shih tzu!).
Pros: It’s a soft, fluffy dragon that can fly! Imagine how awesome the commute to work would be on Falcor. He’s also a luckdragon who can breathe blue fire, so who needs karma when you have Falcor instead. He also doesn’t need to eat (Luckdragons are constantly drawing heat and air into their scales) so no worries about a huge food bill and therefore making him better than any other dragon. I’d also assume this means he doesn’t have to poop, so total win-win scenario.
Cons: Falcor is a pretty big dragon so you’d need a lot of space for him. Maybe an RV port or something? Although it might be cool if he just wrapped himself around your house – I don’t think any burglars would mess with your house then. And while you’d probably save a ton on the heat bill in the winter, you’re going to get hammered on the air conditioning bill in the summer. I also think that the vet bill would be pretty high and he was kind of a wuss when he needed to get shots.
Still Want One: Falcor is super hard to find – you typically need to find one on Etsy for big bucks. Here’s an imported version that still has a steep price tag, but not as expensive as some of the others! It might make more sense to just get some Falcor artwork for way less money.
What: Adorable little purring/cooing balls of fluff that come in multiple colors made famous in the Star Trek episode “The Trouble with Tribbles”. Harry Potter kind of knocked these off with Pygmy Puff’s, although those have cute little eyes, come in pink and purple and don’t breed quite as quickly.
Pros: They’re just so cute. And purring is pretty relaxing. It also has no claws or teeth, so safe and fun for the whole family.
Cons: These guys multiply like crazy and eat everything in sight. Think that you’d be fine with just having one? Nope – they’re born pregnant so you’re going to have multiple Tribbles no matter what. You can always sell them off though for a profit.
Still Want One: Try Tibble Toy’s dual-sound tribble. The balls of fluff in multiple, standard Tribble colors has cooing and agitated sounds. Luckily this one just makes sound – it doesn’t eat all your food and reproduce like crazy.
What: A small, furry cross between a rodent, koala and a Furby that can walk on two legs, grasp items in its cute little hands and make adorable sounds and sing. They have giant ears and expressive eyes. Made famous by Gizmo in the Gremlins, Mogwai actually means “devil” and “monster” in Cantonese. According to the novel before the movie, they were created on an alien planet to be peaceful little critters. The creator messed up though and only 1% of mogwai are loyal, adoring pet-like creatures. The rest pretty much want to kill you.
Pros: They’re really tiny and portable, you can dress them up in cute little outfits, they understand what you’re saying to them and are just super cute. You could also put them in little Barbie Corvettes or G.I. Joe armored vehicles and race them around the house! It seems as though they’d be easy to litter train as well. If you wanted to be evil, they reproduce pretty quickly and you can definitely sell these guys for a nice profit.
Cons: They just have so many rules. No sunlight, no water and no eating after midnight. Although honestly, is it really that hard to follow the rules? But I’ve always been curious, when can they start eating? Six in the morning, eight in the morning? And can they have liquids other than water? If you get them wet with Mt. Dew or a 5 Hour Energy Shot, will you have a half dozen Mogwai bouncing off the walls?
What: Yellow, cylindrical critters that do your bidding. Minions look mostly the same, but can have one or two eyes with goggles over them and typically wear little overalls.
Pros: They are really loyal and are great around the house. They can cook, clean, run errands and even take care of your kids. I for one would love a pet who can change my kid’s diaper. And while they love bananas, I don’t think the overall food bill would be that high. I also think they’re functional enough to use a toilet on their own.
Cons: They can just as easily destroy your house while trying to clean it. I also am not sure that Child Protective Services would approve of minion baby-sitters. They also might steal your clothing to try on.
Baby from Dinosaurs
This is another critter that probably wouldn’t appreciate being called a pet, but it would be so worth it to hear him say “Not the mama” on a regular basis, especially because Lil’ G-Man can only say “dada” right now. All. The. Time. Never “Mama”…not that I noticed or anything…
Buckbeak from Harry Potter
Flying creatures are always a plus in my book, but he’s a little moody, could eat you and seems a little unsafe for babies.
Toothless from How to Train a Dragon
Another amazing flying creature who can also destroy your enemies, but as mentioned with Falcor, since he has to eat and poop, he’s less appealing. He’s also not soft and fluffy like Falcor or Buckbeak.
What do you think? Are there any fictional critters you’d want as a pet?
Written in collaboration with Geeky Mommie, which is why the word “cute” is used repeatedly. Don’t want to dampen my street cred.
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